‘Tis the Season for Overstimation
If you’re an introvert like me, this isn’t ‘the most wonderful time of the year.’ The holidays are often full of social events and family gatherings, which can feel a bit draining to introverts.
Needing quiet time doesn’t make you antisocial. It’s just self-preservation.
And yes, even though I talk to people for a living as a therapist, I am an introvert too and I’ve learned that holiday survival means balancing connection with recovery time. Sometimes that means choosing peace over people.
It’s okay to prioritize rest, even during the holidays
Why the Holidays Can Feel Draining for Introverts
The holidays are basically a sensory marathon. You’ve got flashing lights, loud gatherings, and endless small talk. The pressure to be merry during the holidays can feel overwhelming. The lack of solitude, the people, the noises, the expectations can be a lot.
For introverts, the kind of non-stop social energy that often comes with the holiday season isn’t festive, it’s exhausting. Your nervous system can easily feel overstimulated by all of the together time.
There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from smiling and nodding through hours of small talk.
Step 1: Know Your Social Battery (and Guard It Like Gold)
Being aware of your limits is incredibly important. Before the season starts, try to take stock of how much social energy you actually have to give.
Create a ‘social budget’ for yourself. Spend your budget wisely. Pick only the events that matter most and say no to the ones that feel like a chore.
I once tried to attend three holiday gatherings in one weekend. By Sunday night, I was questioning all of my life choices. I’ve learned since then that I have to limit my social time in order to preserve my energy (and my sanity).
Step 2: Plan for Recharge Time
For introverts, recovery time between social events is crucial.
Schedule intentional downtime for yourself: journaling, getting outside in nature, or just sitting in silence.
You don’t have to attend every ugly sweater party to prove that you’re festive. Build some buffer time between social events so that you don’t overextend yourself. Schedule decompression time like it’s a meeting and treat it like it’s sacred. Write it in your planner or put it on your calendar like you would any other important meeting.
Step 3: Set Gentle Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t rude. They’re emotional life jackets.
Set boundaries not only about which events you attend, but how you spend your time at these events.
Take time outs when you need it. You can decline some invitations or take intentional breaks during the events you do attend. Take a quick walk, go sit in your car, or leave early if needed.
Step 4: Find Your Calm in the Chaos
Don’t forget to use your coping skills! You can do deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises anywhere.
Mindfulness can go a long way and doesn’t have to be an hour-long thing. Notice the things around you, like the twinkling lights, the warmth of your coffee or hot cocoa, the sound of your dog snoring..
If all else fails, make a playlist of calming music to help your brain decompress.
Step 5: Redefine What Connection Looks Like
You don’t have to talk to everyone in the room. Find your person and stick with them.
If you can, choose smaller gatherings over larger parties. And remember that you can connect with others through writing, thoughtful gifts, or shared experiences instead of constant conversations.
And if you end up spending the whole night with the family pet instead of the people? Congratulations! You’ve found the best company in the room.
Final Thoughts: Give Yourself Permission to Enjoy the Season Your Way
The holidays aren’t a performance. You don’t owe anyone constant cheer or attendance.
As someone who recharges through quiet mornings, time out the water, and cozy evenings, I have learned that peace is my favorite holiday tradition.
So, light a candle,take a deep breath, hide in the guest room if you need to, and remember: it’s self-care, not antisocial behavior.
💌Your Turn
How do you protect your energy during the holidays? Drop your favorite introvert survival tips in the comments.
If you’re ready to take your own gentle first step, I’d love to invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. You will receive a free download of my 5-Day Self-Care Reset Plan. It’s a simple way to start making space for yourself again, in just five minutes a day.
Feel free to visit my Etsy shop for resources to help you on your journey. I also have a free private self-care interactive Facebook group for women that you can join here.
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