If you’ve ever found yourself spiraling and thinking, ‘I need something to help me calm down, right now,’ that’s exactly where a coping toolkit can help.
Emotional ups and downs are inevitable in life, but the tools you have to deal with them can make a difference. We can’t stop the chaos, but we can prepare for it.
I talk to my therapy clients about making these all the time. And yes, I’ve made one for myself, because therapists have meltdowns too.
What a Coping Toolkit Is (and Why It Works)
A coping toolkit is basically your emotional first-aid kit, a small collection of items, tools, and reminders that help you regulate emotions and calm your nervous system when life feels like too much. Having tangible items at the ready can help shift your brain and body out of ‘fight or flight’ mode.
Your toolkit should be personal to you.What soothes me might be annoying to you. Your toolkit should feel like you.
When emotions are running high, logic often goes out the window. A coping toolkit can give your body and brain a roadmap back to calm.
Step 1: Choose a Container
First things first. You need somewhere to put your stuff. You could use almost anything as a container. Mine is in a plastic storage tote, but you could use a basket, a shoebox, a tote bag, or even a file on your phone with digital tools.
It’s important to keep your toolkit somewhere easy to reach when you are overwhelmed. I keep mine under my bed. The point is accessibility. You don’t want to go on a scavenger hunt for your toolkit when you’re already feeling overwhelmed.
Step 2: Pick Calming Tools for the Five Senses
You want at least one thing for every sense, but more is even better.
Here are some ideas:
Sight: photos, nature imagery, motivational quotes, a coloring book.
Sound: a calming playlist, a white noise machine, a guided meditation. You can put a list in your toolkit to remind you of these things.
Touch: fidget toys, a soft blanket, a stress ball, a smooth stone.
Smell: scented candle, essential oils, a favorite scented lotion.
Taste: herbal tea, mints, chocolate, or even spicy snacks. Anything that wakes up your senses and brings you back to the present.
My kit has a coloring book and colored pencils, a motivational quote written on notebook paper, a reminder to listen to a guided meditation, a stress ball, some essential oils, and some mints. But yours doesn’t have to look like mine. It should be specific to your own preferences.
Step 3: Add Emotional and Cognitive Tools
You also want to give your brain some support. When emotions are high, thinking clearly is not exactly your superpower, so keep some reminders handy.
Here are a few ideas:
- A journal or notebook
- A pen and sticky notes with affirmations or comforting reminders
- A list of grounding techniques (the 5-4-3-2-1 method, deep breathing, etc.)
- A self-compassion letter or reminder from ‘past you’
- A list of people you can call or text, like family, friends, therapist, or a crisis line
I keep a pen in mine as a reminder to journal, because even though my journal sits on my nightstand, something my brain forgets that writing things down is an option.
Step 4: Add Digital Resources (Because Let’s Be Real)
This can include some calming apps, favorite Youtube videos, playlists, or screenshots of encouraging quotes or photos that make you smile.
I keep a folder on my phone with some guided meditation apps that I like.
Step 5: Make It Yours (and Keep It Updated)
It’s important to make your coping kit personal to you. What is soothing to one person is not always soothing to another. And sometimes what’s comforting to you might change too.
t’s a good idea to revisit your kit every few months to swap out or refresh items.
Final Thoughts: Small Tools, Big Difference
Your coping toolkit won’t magically fix everything, but it can help you get through the next five minutes without losing it and sometimes that’s enough.
Start small if you need to. Add one item at a time. There’s no wrong way to build your toolkit, only the way that works for you.
💌 Your Turn
What’s one thing you’d like to add to your kit? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
If you’re ready to take your own gentle first step, I’d love to invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. You will receive a free download of my 5-Day Self-Care Reset Plan. It’s a simple way to start making space for yourself again, in just five minutes a day.
Feel free to visit my Etsy shop for resources to help you on your journey. I also have a free private self-care interactive Facebook group for women that you can join here.
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