The struggle is real. If you’ve ever scrolled yourself straight into insomnia, congratulations. You are part of a very tired club.
For years, I told my therapy clients to create calming bedtime routines, but mine looked like ‘answer one more email and fall asleep to Netflix.’ It took me a lot of time and trial and error to find what actually worked for me.
I used to think getting 5 hours of sleep a night was enough for me. Until I started getting 7 to 8 hours regularly and it was a game changer!
Many people treat sleep as optional and don’t realize the impact that cumulative sleep deprivation can have on you. It affects everything: your mood, your focus, your immune system, your appetite, even how well you handle stress.
Your body really does need that time to recover physically and mentally. And most adults need somewhere between 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Lack of sleep is linked to higher rates of mental health challenges like anxiety and depression and increased risk of several physical ailments, like type 2 diabetes and heart disease.
Good sleep isn’t about perfection, it’s about creating signals that tell your mind and your body that it is safe to rest.
Why Bedtime Routines Matter
Consistency and routine help regulate circadian rhythms, our body’s natural clock. Routines help your nervous system make shifts from alert to calm. Routines also create psychological cues that say “You can rest now.”
Your brain loves patterns. When you create a consistent bedtime routine, your brain learns that calm is on its way. When your evening is chaotic (emails, doom-scrolling, etc.), your nervous system never gets that memo that it’s safe to rest.
Stress, screen time, and overstimulation disrupt those signals.
Step 1: Create a “Wind-Down Zone”
This is one that I really struggled with for years. I would stay up super late and then hop into bed, expecting that I would just fall asleep because I was tired. Nope! Lesson learned: your brain needs a buffer between doing and sleeping.
It’s a good idea to give yourself 30 to 60 minutes to spend transitioning before bed. I know it sounds like a lot, but start smaller if you have to and work your way up. Give yourself 15 minutes and go from there.
Build some relaxing activities into this transition time. You can try reading, journaling, stretching, skincare, or prepping some things for the next day. For me, I set up my coffee pot for the next morning (I love my caffeine), brush my teeth, wash and apply a bunch of wrinkle serums to my face, journal, and then read for 10 minutes or so.
Dimming the lights and slowing down is an important signal for your mind and body that it’s time to get ready for sleep.
Step 2: Disconnect from Screens
I know, I know. This one is so hard. I struggle with this one a lot. I love to sleep with the tv on and often my phone charges on my nightstand and the temptation is strong.
But the blue light that comes from your phone, laptop, tv keeps your brain awake. It tells your brain that it’s still daytime. Experts say to stay off of screens for at least an hour before bed. I say…do your best. Even 20 minutes helps.
The world won’t fall apart if you stop checking your notifications at 9pm (and if it does, you’ll read about it tomorrow).
Step 3: Add Calming Rituals That Feel Good
Choose simple rituals that feel soothing to you, not things that feel like another thing to add to your to-do list.
Here are some ideas:
- Dim the lights or light some candles (just remember to blow them out before you go to sleep)
- Calming scents like lavender, chamomile, or vanilla. You could use a diffuser or scented candles
- Gentle music, white noise, or nature sounds
- Journaling or gratitude reflection
Step 4: Support Your Body Too
Your body’s comfort influences emotional regulation and better sleep. So trying to take care of your body before bed helps too.
Here are some ideas:
- Take a hot shower or bath
- Do some light stretching
- Keep your room dark and cool
- Avoid caffeine after 2pm
- Avoid heavy meals late in the day
Step 5: Keep It Real
Imperfect sleep happens. Some nights will be great, others won’t.
Remember that consistency is key and these steps will take time to make a difference. And sometimes, your routine will go out the window. But every night is a fresh chance to try again.
It’s all about building habits that support better sleep over time. Don’t try a bunch of things at once. Start small with one thing and go from there.
Final Thoughts: Rest Is a Form of Self-Respect
Sleep is not lazy. It’s maintenance for your mind and body. You might be surprised how much better you feel once you get better sleep. I didn’t realize how drained I was until I finally wasn’t anymore.
You don’t need a perfect routine, just one that reminds you that you are allowed to rest.
💌 Your Turn
What’s one thing you can do tonight to make your evening a little calmer? Please share in the comments.
If you’re ready to take your own gentle first step, I’d love to invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. You will receive a free download of my 5-Day Self-Care Reset Plan. It’s a simple way to start making space for yourself again, in just five minutes a day.
Feel free to visit my Etsy shop for resources to help you on your journey. I also have a free private self-care interactive Facebook group for women that you can join here.
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