There are seasons in life when “just breathe” feels impossible.
I’ve had those seasons, the kind where your to-do list just keeps growing, your body feels tense all the time, and even simple decisions feel heavy.
When I first moved to Florida, I thought I’d finally slow down, that sunshine and salt air would somehow erase the stress. But just weeks later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and life turned upside down. I was suddenly balancing full-time work, caregiving every evening, and just trying to hold myself together.
Stress became my constant companion. And it wasn’t just mental. It lived in my shoulders, my sleep, my short fuse, and even the way I breathed.
I remember sitting at my kitchen table, a half-finished cup of coffee growing cold beside me, scrolling through work emails while trying to ignore the exhaustion that had settled deep in my shoulders. That was the morning I realized I wasn’t coping, I was surviving.
But slowly, I learned how to manage it, not by eliminating stress (because life doesn’t work that way), but by creating small moments of calm inside the chaos.
Here’s what helped me then, and still helps me now, when life feels overwhelming.
1. Notice What Your Body Is Saying
Before you can manage stress, you have to notice it.
I used to ignore the signs, the tension in my jaw, the racing thoughts, the irritability. I’d tell myself I was “fine.” But our bodies always tell the truth before our minds do.
One night after caring for my mom, I found myself sitting in the driveway long after I’d parked. I didn’t have the energy to get out of the car. My chest felt heavy, and the thought of doing it all again tomorrow felt impossible. That’s when I realized I needed new ways to care for myself.
Now, when I feel stress creeping in, I pause and ask:
- Where am I holding it? (Neck, chest, stomach?)
- What do I need right now: movement, quiet, or comfort?
Sometimes that pause alone interrupts the spiral.
Even now, when my schedule feels too full, I still catch myself clenching my jaw, it’s my body’s way of saying, ‘You’re doing too much again.’
Therapist Tip: Stress isn’t just in your head. It’s a full-body experience. When you tune into your physical cues, you can respond instead of just reacting.
2. Slow Down Your Breathing (and Your Thoughts)
During the caregiving months, my anxiety often showed up as shallow breathing. I’d rush from task to task without realizing I hadn’t taken a real breath in hours.
Now, I use a simple reset: 4-7-8 breathing.
- Inhale for 4 counts.
- Hold for 7.
- Exhale for 8.
It’s simple, but it signals to your body that you’re safe, even if your world feels anything but.
Real Life: I still use this when I feel overwhelmed, even in smaller moments, like traffic jams, deadlines, or unexpected bad news. It’s my way of reminding myself: “You can’t control everything, but you can control this breath.”
3. Step Outside
Florida has a way of healing you through nature, even when the weather doesn’t cooperate.
During stressful days, I take my coffee onto the patio, go for a walk, or go paddle boarding on a quiet spring. The physical act of stepping outside changes everything: your sensory input, your perspective, even your breathing.
If I can’t get outdoors, I’ll open the windows or light a candle that smells like the ocean. Tiny reminders of calm still count.
Therapist Tip: When stress feels big, grounding yourself in nature, even for a few minutes, helps you reconnect to the present.
4. Write It Out
I’ve journaled since I was nine, and when life feels overwhelming, it’s still the first thing I turn to.
When my thoughts get tangled, I write them down, not to fix them, but to get them out of my head. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it’s angry, sometimes it’s a list of what I can and can’t control.
And somehow, seeing it on paper makes it all feel a little lighter.
Try this: Write down three columns:
1️⃣ What I can control
2️⃣ What I can influence
3️⃣ What I can release
It’s amazing how much stress lives in that last column.
5. Redefine What “Enough” Means
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that you can’t do it all, and you’re not meant to.
During my caregiving months, I constantly felt like I wasn’t doing enough, not for my mom, my clients, or myself. It wasn’t until later that I realized “enough” changes depending on your season of life.
Some days, “enough” means getting through your to-do list.
Other days, it means taking a shower, feeding yourself, and going to bed early.
Therapist Tip: Adjust your expectations with compassion. Your worth isn’t measured by productivity, it’s reflected in how gently you treat yourself through the hard days.
6. Reach Out (Even When You Don’t Want To)
Stress loves isolation. It convinces us we’re the only ones struggling, and that no one else will understand.
But connection is the antidote. Whether it’s texting a friend, calling a family member, or scheduling a therapy session, reaching out breaks that cycle of overwhelm.
Real Life: I didn’t always reach out when I needed to, I tried to handle everything alone. But when I finally did, I realized people wanted to show up for me. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help.
Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this and thinking, ‘I’m too overwhelmed to even try,’ I get it. That’s exactly where I was once, too. Managing stress isn’t about staying calm all the time. It’s about creating moments of peace within the storm.
For me, that’s journaling, breathing deeply, stepping outside, and letting go of the illusion that I have to control everything. Stress will always be part of life, but so is resilience. And each time you pause, breathe, and take one small step toward calm, you’re reminding yourself: You can handle this. You are resilient.
If you find that you are struggling with self-care, you might like this Daily Self-Care Tracker. You might also find these blog posts helpful: 5 Simple Mindfulness Practices You Can Do in 5 Minutes and My Go-To Morning Routine for a Calm, Focused Day.
What is your favorite way to manage stress? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
If you’re ready to take your own gentle first step, I’d love to invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. You will receive a free download of my 5-Day Self-Care Reset Plan. It’s a simple way to start making space for yourself again, in just five minutes a day.
Feel free to visit my Etsy shop for resources to help you on your journey. I also have a free private self-care interactive Facebook group for women that you can join here.
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